Two Year Funk!

This is my two year anniversary being a stroke survivor. I am thankful to say that I survived a massive stroke. Unfortunately, I’m in a funk, both physically and mentally. I’m hoping writing this blog will help me rekindle my spirits.

The physical funk is this: I don’t walk anymore. When I’m home, it is easier to roll into the bathroom verses walking. When I’m in the community, it is easier to let Walter wheel me into a restaurant verses walking, and it is easier to let people get an electric cart for me when they see me walking up to the store (people can be so nice). Last year, I walked every day, and now I’m lucky if I walk once a week. One of the downsides to this is that I have gained almost all of the weight I lost in 2012. That is devastating, but I did have a stroke, and I can’t exercise. Excuse, excuse, excuse.

The mental funk is this: I don’t like myself right now. I’m in a depression. I spend my days watching TV. We only have an antenna, so you can imagine the shows I watch. Last year, I colored in my coloring books, worked on the computer more, and listened to books. I was a proud spokesperson for disabled people, wanting to change things. But now I can’t be bothered with any of this. The doctors haven’t been as positive about my progress either. Now I get the smile and ‘we have to see’ when I ask if I will ever get movement in my arm. 

How can I change the funk? As my dad says, “You have to have a talking to yourself.” I was telling my parents I was in a funk and that I was going to blog it. Being my dad, after hearing that, he gave me advice and comfort. So what am I doing about it? Walking more, talking to myself reminding myself how fortunate I am, and blogging. Yes I can get out of the funk, this blog is the start of ‘unfunking’.